Tired of tirades...

Seems I've been a bit arguementative and just plain grumpy lately. Thanks to a true friend who actually called me on it, I've decided to stop looking at the world from my dungheap tower which frequently digresses to "Why the...?" or "What in the world...?" or "Stupid democrats..."
Instead, I've decided to just journal. Afterall, this isn't www.livegripe.com but a forum for semi-public expression of inner thoughts and creative banter with your subconscious self.
My fundie fightin' kemo sabe and I were chatting today and I realized this world's rising gas prices, pesticide laced canned mentality and narcissistic-nihilistic worldview isn't all the much fun. People are in such a rush to be the second car in the turn lane instead of the third that they will run anyone down. Mix that stream of imagery with another conversation I had with another friend about things to do with bodies after death and I have plenty to process.
Coming from an average Christian mindset (yeah, I'm evangelical.... and I cuss. Ya wanna make something of it??? That was for you PJ) I can clearly say I know the best and the worst this world and the next has to offer. Since I've got most of my soteriology and personal effects in order, I can walk this earth with a sense of peace. When my Smashing Pumpkins retrospective side kicks in, RPMs race higher and I cam tell the lethal mixture of testosterone, adrenaline, and internal cumbustion is reaching critical mass. But I'm still pretty easy going... dare I say mellow? Dare! Dare!
I don't mince words very often and even those who lovingly call me 'the diplomat' know what I believe without the shaking fist or big stick. Life is just life. Mine has a hopeless romantic bent to it but so what? Ok, find the love of your life. Enjoy every minute. Tell her/him whenever you want/can/need. Have kids if its in the plans. Go to birthday parties where psychotic clowns blow up balloons. Decorate eggs and hide them at easter. Put all sorts of little goodies in Christmas stockings. And by all means, enjoy a glass of wine and candles with your sweetheart for NO REASON. It's not her birthday, your anniversary, or the impending Tibetian independence day. It's just monday night.
Someday, I'll just put all the movie quotes I can on here to back this up creatively. But today I'll just dream a little dream of peace, quiet, tenderhearted moments and the promise of what is to come.
So that's the 'life is too fast' section. What to say about death...
Death is a 5-second detour in the joys of life. Maybe my assurance of heaven is my get outta jail free card in this thought process. Maybe I'm just 'really positive'. (Nod. Shake no.)
See, there's two issues here. Death & dying.
From the moment you are born, you're dying. It really isn't evident until age, macular degeneration, cellular ubiqity or serious illness arrives. So be negative. It's all down hill troopers. You gonna die!
Well, whoopdee-frickin'-doo. Let's discuss actual death. Will it suck to say goodbye to everything you love?
mmm... yeah. That sucks
Will you ever see a more beautiful sunset?
That totally depends on you. I plan on my eternity looking like a corona commercial.
Does it matter what your underwear looks like for that final curtain call?
jeez, I hope not.
Which color marble should the tombstone be?
ok. enough. YOU'LL BE DEAD IN 5 MINUTES!

I sat down with my parents some time ago and discussed interrment, cremation, etc.
Dad wants to be given to science. Whaddeva. As long as I don't have to see what they do to it, let someone get a PhD off dad. Mom hasn't expressed her wishes. My grandparents keep saying, "We have room at our plot for a few more." Uh uh.
Right now, I have no love of my life to tie me to one particular place. I have no kids or grandkids. If tomorrow, I found out my time is coming... I think I'd get everything I could in order, tell my soulmate I love her with all my heart - even if I haven't met her, I'd buy some little italian convertible from the 1960s or 1970s and cruise the US. And when I die... it's done. I plan on paying for my own wake with champagne, a roasted pig, and plenty of sides. I'll have my ashes ready for scattering in some Rocky Mountain glacier runoff. And I'll have little notes for all my friends and family.
That's what its all about. Whether living, dying or just being in the middle, it's what you do and who you do it with that makes a difference in this world. Worrying, racing, or griping doesn't make memories. Laughing, learning, and sharing makes love. Take your pick on what you want out of this life... and go get it. Enjoy and send me a postcard from the little paradise you find.